The Wicked Road to Skinny Jeans
How many of you have tried and failed “diets” in the past? Were they maybe too boring? Too restrictive? No taste? Did you feel deprived from everything everyone else around you was eating?
So often we declare it “the start day”. “THE DAY” we vow to not eat anything “bad” or unhealthy. The pre-diet day we gorge ourselves on everything we think we can never eat again and throw away everything in the cabinets. we “shouldn’t have”. The refrigerator is stocked with lettuce, carrots, celery and maybe some apples. Unless, of course, you are going low carb/keto. Then you have lunch meat, cheese, chicken, bacon and protein powder ready. You have motivational quotes on the wall, pictures of your “perfect body” as a screensaver and MAYBE an old pair of jeans to fit into.
Day 1: You are excited! Munching on all your “good food”.
Day 2: A little tired. Its ok. You tell yourself this is expected. Soon you will be going into ketosis and dropping pounds. Burning that fat for energy.
Day 3: Tired. Grumpy. Headache. Still chanting “you can do this” to yourself. You check that motivational picture and quote for the 300th time by lunch. You go to bed at 8:00 to forget about being hungry and craving ice cream.
Day 4: The good food is all gone. You have eaten everything you “can have” to distract yourself from what you can’t have and really want. Who cares that its 3,000 calories a day on low carb/keto or 3 bags of baby carrots, 2 bunches of celery and 2 rotisserie chickens by day 4.
Day 5: All you can think about is food! ALL of the things you cannot have! Starbucks, cheesecake, French fries, pizza, ice cream, burgers….You can’t stand for anyone to look at you. You growl “No! I am on a diet!” to the third person at work to ask if you want to order lunch.
Day 6: You have weighed yourself 6 times everyday. Counting the first morning without any clothes and after you pee (became that has to weight 3#, right?) as the most accurate. You scream “Why haven’t I lost any weight???!!” It’s been almost a whole week!
Day 7: You step on the scales again… Maybe you’re losing inches not pounds. You are certain those jeans should fit by now… You put one leg in and then the other. You shimmy and shake and get them to your thighs. You pull on one side as you twist yourself side to side and then start jumping up and down, tugging on both sides by the belt loops. No way they are going up. You struggle to get the back off after wedging all you can into them. SO ANGRY! You almost fall out of the last leg and kick the jeans across the room. Then you pick them up and throw them onto the floor again. Screaming and cursing and crying! You stomp to the kitchen and open every cabinet and slam it because you threw away all the comfort foos that will make this all better. Except….the chocolate syrup in the back of the fridge, which you have turned up and are squirting directly into your mouth. Oh and you didn’t throw away that box of pudding mix, which you are now eating dry from the box. How would it taste if you mixed the pudding powder with the chocolate syrup??? MMMMM. You want to vomit but are so happy you have tasted sweet sugar on you lips that you don’t care.
Day 7 1/2: Now that you are a failure you have to accept that lunch menu and order an appetizer, burger with the works, a side of fries and onion rings, plus a milkshake and cheesecake.
Day 8: You delete your “prefect body” pic and start to tell yourself you could be ok with not losing all your booty. Guys like a nice booty! Right?!
Let’s stop that insanity. Seriously, that is not the way to do it. We are not going to extremes. You didn't gain weight overnight and you’re not going to lose it overnight. When you start these extreme plans that significanlty limit or eliminate something, you are doomed from the start. Educate yourself. Learn moderation. Learn how to make better choices and NOT be deprived. It is possible. That is what Health Interventions is all about.
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